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Dear Kit,

I want to talk a little more to this experience of time. We seem to be moving into a space of ‘different’ time, or ‘no time’. Yesterday afternoon, we made love for what seemed to be hours. There were so many different pathways that we went down together, it seemed like we traveled for such a long time. I remember looking for words while within the experience, and the word that came to me was ‘unending’. Yet when you looked at the time, you reported back that it was quite short again. You mentioned you thought that what we experienced was 3 or 4 times longer than what the clock told us. I concur.

What is this element of the shift in time about? What sort of place are we traveling in during this union experience?

I seem to always come back to the area of presence. When one is in presence, there is a quality of alltime. In our union, there is a quality of stretched time. It is not that there is a sense of no time, because we do have a sense that a long time has been involved.

I wonder if we will learn more as we continue to explore together. How does this apply to living life everyday?

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Dear One,

I agree. The validity and authority of experience is at the core of recognizing that which is.

It is really quite extraordinary to have the experience of union with you over and over and over. This beingness that comes through you and I is radiant and true. It vibrates with Reality. You are so honest and good. I can open my heart and my mind to the present with you, with full assurance of honor, truth, safety, joy, and unending adventure.

Just being with you every night and every morning, and all night long, is such exquisite happiness, such peace. When we come together, we beam light. We are adding to the overall goodness by living this union.

It is joy living in presence with you.

Kat

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My Darling,

I want to find more and more ways of talking about this remarkable experience we are having together. Let’s keep exploring together and see what ways we find for communicating about it.

As we make love, in the height of our passion the most amazing things occur! Time seems to alter. I won’t say that it disappears completely, but it seems to stretch. I have the sense that we go on and on for what seems like a long time. We seem to go so far, to travel great expanses. And yet, according to your experiment , of watching the actual time, it is a comparatively short time that elapses in normal time measurements. It is so odd.

Also the experience of self, as it comes to me through my body is greatly altered. There is a point, and with us it comes quite quickly, where all barriers seem to disappear. I feel something delicious, melting and flowing, that is neither you nor me, but us. I experience this through my mind which is distinctly mine and separate from you. And yet, the overriding experience I am having with this distinct mind is everything filled with our union. It floods all my senses, my mind and my spirit. It has such depth and breadth it just fills up everything.

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Dear Kit,

Yes, the Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde experience. This is so difficult and most times very shocking. The person you have come to love and share with just flips into someone else, someone you don’t recognize, someone who is a stranger to you.

I think this is one of the things that was so wonderful for me with you from the very beginning. Every time I encountered you, you were the same person. I came to know that this would not change. That you would really be there every time. Really be present, and really be the person I was growing to know and love.

Maybe this was particuarly important to me, because the last relationship I had been in suffered from this very difficult experience. I think the fact of your constancy, of you being who you really are all the time, is actually a critical part of who we are together. We each seem to be sitting inside our true selves, and when we come to the ‘table’ we bring our full selves there to the feast.

You have often said that it is as though there is nothing in the world but us when we come together. This does not mean we are not aware of the world or its happenings in our lives. Just that when we are together, we are actually taking time to really be completely present with each other. Also, this is not something that is done with effort. It seems to just occur. Its not that we have decided to do this, or talked about how to be together. It just seems to happen.

And I love who you are and am so grateful that when we come together, it is always the same person who I encounter!

Kat

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My Dear Kit,

Thank you for your description of our sexuality. You have touched so well on the magic of our union. When our bodies come together, it is like coming home. There is such a deep sense of fitting, of being in the absolutely right and perfect place.

As I visualize us together sexually, fitting together the way we do, the word peace comes to mind again. And yet our sexual union is filled with excitement, adventure, and highly charged particles moving together. Not something one often associates with peace! Indeed we create a highly charged energy, but not in the usual way. Charge is usually associated with things colliding into and against each other. This is not like that at all. It is all fluid and flowing. There are no hard edges, no bangs and bumps.

It is mysterious. Yes, it is always new, always better than ever before. How can this be? I believe that we are so in union and so in the present moment together, that we are actually able to co-create something new, something that never existed before. The experience of bringing something into being that is a child of our union, the by product of us coming together, is so breathtaking that it almost defies description.

Nevertheless, I enjoy trying to find a way to communicate about it and perhaps even find a way to let others know it is possible to relate in such a manner.

love Kat

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My Dearest Kit,

Thank you for your beautiful expression of how we are! Yes, that says it exactly.

In looking at our vows, I see that many of the things we have been talking about in these conversations are included in our vows.

The respect for the other as an other, truthfulness , seeking for the positive, coming from love.

These are true expressions of how we are with one another.

Talking, truthfulness, ongoing honest communication…this is an important underpinning to everything. We seem to naturally stay in touch, and share our thoughts.

Our decision making process has been so easy as a result. We just talk till we find some solution that pleases us both. Neither of us seem to want to push an opinion or a particualr viewpoint on the other.

Even though this has come very naturally to us, I believe that this style is something that can be cultivated. I think couples can come from a place of trust in the other and at the same time respect for the other, that will enable them to find solutions suited to the union, rather than to one or the other. While doing this, seek for the positive and come from love. It feels so much better than manipulation or force or pressuring or anger or self-righteousness or control or separation or aloneness. Go for the union!

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Dear Kit,

You mentioned how we talk about things and just seem to come to resolutions or decisions. This has always been a basic part of our time together and maybe this is one of the critical factors. We have always really talked with each other. We have a comfortable and natural style of talking over things with each other and forming a plan of action or coming to a decision. I think often when people are feeling upset with each other or angry or misunderstood, it is because they do not really stay in communication. They have to guess what the other is thinking or feeling and this leads to distance, fear and lack of harmony. If communicating becomes a natural part of how people are with each other, then many of the conflicts and problems will probably never even arise. Can something this simple really be an antidote to so many problems. Yes, I think it can.

The other thing you mention which I want to comment on, is that neither of us is really attracted to conflict or fighting or any of those kinds of energies. We are strongly attracted to peace and union and harmony and kindness and happiness and love. We both seem to be totally fulfilled with these emotions and experiences and have no attraction at all to the chemical rushes associated with the other. I think very often, people have come to associate these negative feelings with having feelings at all. For this reason, they seek for the strong rushes of discord. Perhaps it wouldn’t be all that difficutl to work on switching attractions. To develop a taste for harmony!

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Dearest Kit,

I would so like to be able to break down the way we are together, so that I could see more of what contributes to this extraordinary relationship that we have. We have isolated some important factors.

We are very much in the present with each other. This contributes to the feeling that our experiences are always new and always better than before. There is an element of co creativity that arises from this kind of presence.

We do not confuse our identities, which I believe happens in a lot of relationships. I do not feel that you are actually me, and that therefore you should do everything as I would do it and act as I would. I am in no way censoring or judging or changing or improving upon who you are. You do none of this with me either. And yet, we are very supportive of each other, always wanting the very best for the other in every way.

We are gentle and loving and kind with each other. We do this without effort and with very little consciousness of behaving in this manner. We do not seem to be irritated or annoyed with each other. This may also come from accepting each other entirely as we are, and not wishing that the other would somehow be different or act differently.

None of this causes boredom or some dull saccharin lack of intense experience. I think all too often people associate conflict or anger with having feelings or caring. We do not derive our passions from the negative juices that flow in discord. Rather, we seem to flourish and be more joyful and filled with peace and energy from the utter lack of these kind of emotions within our relationship.

It is a mystery. It does take two to make something like this happen. I believe that we have both equally allowed this to occur. And yet, it was not with hard work, as so many people suggest is necessary to develop and maintain a relationship. In fact, there is no sense of effort at all. It is a mystery!

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Dear Kit,

It has been a little more than three weeks now that we have been sleeping together every night at the Victoria Street house. There is something so powerful about ending each evening and starting each day with you. It seems like such a little thing. I marvel at how much it colors everything.

And then there is the actual sleeping together. We do that so well and again so differently than most couples. We sleep in contact, often with our bodies entwined, but always in physical contact throughout the whole night. When I wake to go to the bathroom, we are in contact. When I wake in the early morning we are in physical contact.

Again it seems so natural for us, but from what I know of others and what I have read, it is actually very unusual. We don ‘t disturb each other. In fact, we seem to bring health and balance to each other while sleeping. Again, the overriding feeling is peace.

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Dear Kit,

I woke up this morning from a dream in which I was low level irritated, really annoyed with someone. It was that attitude of diffuse impatience with a person that is so very common in the world. I think a lot of people spend a lot of time feeling that way toward their partners and the people they live with or work with. I woke to that sensation and to you sleeping next to me. I realized that I never, and I do truly mean never feel that way with you.

This may sound silly, but I think that is wonderful, absolutely amazing! I never feel impatience or irritation with you. Our time together is always full of joy, full of goodness. I am happy and peaceful and comfortable whenever we are together. That can be at the end of a work day, over a weekend of being together or two weeks of traveling and being together all the time.

We are never short or harsh with each other. It seems we are never irritated or annoyed. What is this different way of being together that seems so natural, so right? We could spread so much peace and goodness if we could pass on to others how to relate in this manner.

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