The Principles Underlying Our Relationship

Dialogue by Kit No Comments »

My Dear Kat,

I feel a need to start pulling together the principles we’ve been discovering through self-observation.

  • Make no demands
  • Be present
  • Speak the truth
  • Be consistent (though I don’t know how an inconsistent person is expected to carry this out)
  • Do as you would be done by (a reference to The Water Babies)

That’s not very many, and maybe 2 and 3 are the same thing, expressed differently.  But maybe we’re not in the business of collecting as many aphorisms as possible; it might be the opposite, of reducing it to a few guidelines and explanations of how they apply in a variety of situations.

For comparison, the couple we saw had three rules:

  • Speaking the Truth
  • Taking Healthy Responsibility
  • Expressing Appreciation
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We Seem to Transcend Time

Dialogue by Kat No Comments »

Dear Kit,

I want to talk a little more to this experience of time. We seem to be moving into a space of ‘different’ time, or ‘no time’. Yesterday afternoon, we made love for what seemed to be hours. There were so many different pathways that we went down together, it seemed like we traveled for such a long time. I remember looking for words while within the experience, and the word that came to me was ‘unending’. Yet when you looked at the time, you reported back that it was quite short again. You mentioned you thought that what we experienced was 3 or 4 times longer than what the clock told us. I concur.

What is this element of the shift in time about? What sort of place are we traveling in during this union experience?

I seem to always come back to the area of presence. When one is in presence, there is a quality of alltime. In our union, there is a quality of stretched time. It is not that there is a sense of no time, because we do have a sense that a long time has been involved.

I wonder if we will learn more as we continue to explore together. How does this apply to living life everyday?

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Indeed, Union is Odd

Dialogue, Union by Kit No Comments »

My Dear Kat,

The experience of our union has some peculiar properties, notably that you and I report the same thing.  When one of us proffers a description, the other says “Uh-Huh” in agreement.  Pretty much always.  Now you and I have led different lives, have different bodies with sex organs of different types, and whose nervous systems are not connected.  So either there’s a lot of coincidence going on, or WE’RE HAVING THE SAME EXPERIENCE.  We approach so close, we are so in touch, literally and metaphorically, that we are both conscious of the shape and extent of the boundary between us.  I don’t mean boundary in the “barrier, blockage, unavailable” sense, but that of junction, connection, surface.  It exists in meta-space (no time to explain that now), and we both see its shape, albeit from opposite sides, and so we recognise our pattern in the other.

Maybe I’m getting to lyrical and theoretical there.  I don’t experience it like that.  Instead, I’m in quiet agreement with you as you speak.  Always.  Oh, there may be some straightening out of terms, but the agreement is there.  How odd is that?

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Ah Yes, The Experience of Union!

Dialogue by Kat No Comments »

Dear One,

I agree. The validity and authority of experience is at the core of recognizing that which is.

It is really quite extraordinary to have the experience of union with you over and over and over. This beingness that comes through you and I is radiant and true. It vibrates with Reality. You are so honest and good. I can open my heart and my mind to the present with you, with full assurance of honor, truth, safety, joy, and unending adventure.

Just being with you every night and every morning, and all night long, is such exquisite happiness, such peace. When we come together, we beam light. We are adding to the overall goodness by living this union.

It is joy living in presence with you.


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The Puzzle of Union

Dialogue, Union by Kit No Comments »

Dear Kat,

Yes, the time phenomenon is very strange, but I’ll put it down to being intensely present.

More puzzling to me is the sense of union, of experiencing another being that is not me and not you; at the same time, I am also aware of myself.  This has happened to me just a few times in my past, but with you, it’s a regular occurrence.  It’s puzzling because I have no place in my scientific cosmology for it; my brain says maybe it’s the experience of chemicals designed to promote pair bonding such as oxytocin or vasopressin.  Maybe it’s a hallucination, a desirable illusion designed to promote sex and reproduction.  It’s just a subjective phenomenon, a trick of the light.

Against this, there is the claim of many mystics that we are all one. “I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together” (even though that’s from “I Am the Walrus”, a deliberately meaningless song.)  But then again, maybe those 40 days in the desert affect the brain.

And lastly, I say no, this is my primary experience.  There is only experience in our world; all those theories are ways to explain and classify our experience, so ignoring my experience in favor of the theories classifying it is a dangerous route.  Here, I also have to refer to the Enlightenment Intensives, the epitome of chopping through words to reach the direct experience.

So I have this dialogue in my head and this experience in my body, and sometimes it makes me feel like this.

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Time and Space Seem to Both Disappear

Dialogue by Kat No Comments »

My Darling,

I want to find more and more ways of talking about this remarkable experience we are having together. Let’s keep exploring together and see what ways we find for communicating about it.

As we make love, in the height of our passion the most amazing things occur! Time seems to alter. I won’t say that it disappears completely, but it seems to stretch. I have the sense that we go on and on for what seems like a long time. We seem to go so far, to travel great expanses. And yet, according to your experiment , of watching the actual time, it is a comparatively short time that elapses in normal time measurements. It is so odd.

Also the experience of self, as it comes to me through my body is greatly altered. There is a point, and with us it comes quite quickly, where all barriers seem to disappear. I feel something delicious, melting and flowing, that is neither you nor me, but us. I experience this through my mind which is distinctly mine and separate from you. And yet, the overriding experience I am having with this distinct mind is everything filled with our union. It floods all my senses, my mind and my spirit. It has such depth and breadth it just fills up everything.

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