Work and Space

Dialogue Add comments

My Dear Kat,

I have been deeply involved in work for the last few days.  In the past, that has been very threatening to my partners; they interfered, pouted, accused me of withdrawal, demanded more of me.

With you, no.  You give me the space to be myself, do what I want to do, just as you always do.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.  The shadow of the past still makes me cautious, makes me check to see how you are, but hallelujah, everything is fine.  That’s why I say thank you.

This all fits right in with our theme of permission, non-interference, allowing the other to be and do whatever they wish.  Maybe it is an emergence from childhood: as we grow up, our parents and teachers admonish us, guide us, teach us to make space for others.  I do think that we have a natural capacity for empathy, but it has to be grown and nurtured, otherwise we get stunted self-involved adults, or worse, sociopaths (though they may have a genetic deficiency).

But this upbringing of rules, rules, rules teaches us also that this is the way that people interact, and we carry this into adulthood, feeling  unconsciously that we have to guide, admonish and control people.  For certain people and on certain occasions, this may be true, but in general, it is possible to leave all that behind; the vast majority of people are benevolent, cooperative and doing the best they can at their present stage of development.

In fact, the whole idea of development is fascinating.  Reading Wilber turned me on to this, but I’ll expand on this another day.


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