Suitability revisited

Dialogue Add comments

Dear Kat,

I’ve been thinking about our posts on being suited to each other.  There are two aspects to this very necessary prerequisite:

  1. You have to know what to look for in the other, and also, what to avoid (I know you don’t like negatives, but I think they’re important here).
  2. You have to be that same desirability for the other person.

I’ll tackle the latter first.  I don’t (at this stage, anyway) want a laundry list of behaviors.  I would rather just say “Do as you would be done by”, and point out that this embodies the concept of empathy, of being able imagine oneself in the place of the other, and furthermore, that this is the first step in merging, or union.

So that’s a requirement for the other person’s behavior, too.  There must be much more to work out here – what about preferences, kinks, hobbies, interests, goals, politics?  They may be necessary, too, but I don’t need to go there now.  By the way, I fail miserably at this assessment, or I would never have spent so much time with A____.


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