Don’t Work on Your Relationship!

Dialogue Add comments

My Dear Kat,

Your delightful list of reasons why we are special ends with its effortless nature, that it doesn’t take work.  So many people write about the necessity of working on a relationship; I reject that idea.  Working on something is what I call a job, not a relationship.

We never feel the need to work things out in the sense of resolving a conflict.  Firstly, we are in agreement on things large and small to an uncanny degree, but when we’re not, they are never seen as a conflict; we simply talk about it, and out of that, comes a conclusion.  It happens every time.

But how we do this is hard to pin down.  Maybe it’s like riding a bicycle.  At first, you fall over all the time; later, staying balanced becomes second nature.  We prefer the peace of co-existence; the drama of alienation has no attraction for us.  How and why we do this is unclear to me; did we learn this, or is it in our natures?  Certainly, to do this requires a degree of non-attachment, and also an understanding of how much influence one can and can’t have with another person.

We both revel in the pleasure of the other, and feel no need to change them; indeed, their difference is a source of pleasure and wonder.  This non-interference is a key aspect of this lack of conflict.

We are like trees in the wind; when storms come, we bend before them.

Digg! Digg this

Leave a Reply © 2008 All rights reserved.
Wordpress Themes by Sabiostar web development studio.
Images by desEXign.