kitandkat.com

My Dear Kat,

This morning we covered so much ground.

• The importance of touch.
• The possibiity of talking instead of being sexual.
• What would happen if we talked for 6 hours?
• Accepting the other rather than reacting.

The subject of touch is interesting.  I hypothesise that people communicate through touch, whether galvanic, chemical, physiological, thermal or otherwise, and that it is understood by some non-verbal part of ourselves.  I wonder how it would affect people having an argument if they were to remain in physical contact during it?  If you had an urge to withdraw or flee, that would be really hard, but it would bring the underlying issues right into focus.

That’s all cerebral guesswork, so let me counter it by saying how much I love being in physical contact with you.  It doesn’t have to be all the time, but to lie in bed with you, touching from shoulder to foot as we talk (or not) is a wonderful comfort.

That makes it sound like an infantile regression, but it doesn’t feel like it.  Instead, it feels like a natural way of being that is lost in every-day life (or my male everyday life, at least), but just happened spontaneously for us from very early days.

The, of course, there’s the actual sleeping together.  We lie in contact the entire night!  I don’t think that happened ever before for me.

Lastly, we’ve observed that a number of other couples who are at peace with each other hold hands or make contact some other way.

Kit

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My Dear Kat,

The sleeping together is a very strange and wonderful thing.  I have never been big on touch – I have a massage certificate that’s a year old – but the experience of being in physical contact with you is very soothing.  It occurs elsewhere, too; I love walking in step with you, holding hands or linking arms, it feels like we are in it together, that we act as one.  I mean that literally; I get little flashes of union as we walk down the street, whether murmuring to one another or walking in silence.  It is connecting at a very primal level.  People stroke each other for comfort, hug each other for sympathy; ancient messages are passed, pre-dating language by millions of years, and you and I can hear and trust this unspoken communication.

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