May 02
Dear Kat,
We have been struggling to put one of the fundamental issues into words. You used the phrase “100% solution”, meaning that we accept each other 100%, and that this is qualitatively different from 90% or 95% or 99%. The complete absense of criticism, attacks and control attempts from the other gives a wonderful sense of liberation, of the possibility of being oneself, of acting naturally.
A partner who is only ninety-something percent accepting gives the feeling of being on a leash; you can run free most places, but at some point, a violent tug will occur, so the response is to run cautiously, or not at all. But at 100%, a transforming quality occurs.
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